It’s My Own Damn Fault

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Oh, lord, I’ve been griping about work a lot lately. Stress, stress, stress. Projects hounding me, too much to do. Me – pulling my hair out and wishing I could be doing something different. And what should come along, but a big, fat reminder that it’s my own damn fault. A friend has put out a post on one of my favorite blogs, Squidlog and darn if he isn’t talking to me.

The post amounts to a bright, shiny arrow pointing at the reader with a sign above it saying, “Hey, YOU, look in the mirror!”

Mirror by Joel Zimmer

Mirror by Joel Zimmer

If I’d rather be doing something else, there’s only one person in the world who can make that happen. Me. If I’m tired from work, it might be because I stay up too late doing the things I’d rather be doing which leaves me surviving on a few hours of sleep a night. It can’t possibly be my fault that I’m tired. Just because the doctor told me to cut out caffeine until the wee hours of the morning and I didn’t, well, that was her fault. She just didn’t understand how much I needed the coffee.

Why is it so easy to blame others for our situation? Why is it so hard to spit on our own two hands, roll up our sleeves and get busy doing the things that would actually make a difference in our lives? Why is it so hard to take a risk and try something new? I’m not suggesting anyone quit their job and run out to start a new venture. I am saying, take a good, hard look in the mirror and figure out what you’re doing that’s making it difficult for you to make the changes you wish you could make. Just start laying the groundwork. It’s a small step in the right direction.

I know one of my challenges is I try to do everything all at once. I can’t, but I convince myself I can even when the proof of my inability to do so is staring me straight in the face. I believe I can have it all. I just need to realize I shouldn’t expect to have it all at once. So I’m laying out my hurdles:

If I’m tired, it’s my fault I didn’t get enough sleep. I can fix that.

I need to stop saying I don’t like my job, because I do – most of the time. I need to figure out what I don’t like and how I can change it.

I still want to do something different. I can still make constant steps in that direction they just don’t need to be overnight.

I need to stop making this my theme song: